heavy

sometimes i wonder why i fight it.  and then i remember.

but yeah. i spent today in bed, sleeping. when i say that, i don't mean lying around, relaxing. i was asleep until three pm, unbroken. i was in bed by 11pm the previous night.  i'm not upset, or mentally fucked at the moment - i feel fragile, and soft, and easily knocked, but i am not depressed, just sore.  and tired. and unable to move properly.

books.  got huge new pile of wonderful, delicious books. read one so far -

i read it on sunday, and it was soft and gentle and dreamy.  a good one.  it's a part of my teen same-sex relationship collection.  i got six for the collection in my Better World Books order.   ASH is a fairy tale, and does the conventions of it well.  softly, walking, gentle. i liked it, it did not challenge me. 






next though, i'm going to read this:

I've added a link to the publisher on the side.  Blake Butler is one of the editors of HTMLgiant, possibly my favourite blog at the moment. the book is one of the most exquisite looking items i've recieved in a long time. the publishers, fuck, are incredible. it's a part of my attempt to try to push my reading into new places, new writers, new publishers and see what people are doing. i am hungry to read it, but holding off a little because i am so excited by it.  the first chapter, i read on the bus, out past belconnen. there was a huge family behind me, and a man who stank sitting near by. bunny was on my lap, struggling in his bag. it was all too much so i put it aside.  soon. tonight.


sleep too. and flaxseed oil, and oh fuck, i need to get weetbix. and more books. no. no more books until i have finished the ones i have. saving. saving. uni work. ah. the list of shit i need to get done is drowning me.