books and paper and f a l l i n g

two day book binding course that's excellent.

i miss b.

my floor is unusually clear at the moment, there is a strange amount of carpet available for strolling on, pacing.  i think this is what makes me miss b- the last time i had this much carpet, she was here too.  sigh.

teen novels, feeling slightly off colour, strangely, wanting to re-arrange books, touching around the edges. 

slipping grips on edges, sweeeet oblivion roll over me until i forget my name or where i am or what ever happened or how i got there and all i have is this second; everything else eroded until i am a shadow, i am breathing and shuddering and take me take me take me....  and hold tight, little hands, hold on so tight you can't breathe, because you cannot fall. you cannot fall. there is too much at stake, and you cannot fall.  but hand. over. hand. it takes you by surprise sometimes. 

but it feels good to be dizzy again.