...

... i feel astonishingly isolated right now.

not sure if this is for any substantial reason, or if i just drank too much, or if i am lonely, or if i am overtired, or just stressed with uni.  but i feel closed out.  not even lonely, that's not the right word, but like i've been trapped inside a cage and put in a box.

it's as though the gray dirt under my nails is crawling deeper below my fingers.  and into my arms. and down inside my blood.  i am gathering energy, as much as i can, from being around people, but i feel so cut off from myself that it's desperate.  i have pmt thought, so it's just chemistry fucking with my head.  nothing other than the balance of chemicals in my body are making this happen.