i am a terrible vegetarian. i struggle at it endlessly, fighting between morality and my desire to eat it. i have no moral reason to eat meat, and plenty of moral reasons not to eat meat. whenever i think about it, i feel ill to the bone at what happens - the violence perpetrated against non-human animals, the body of suffering by creatures that, were i to know on an individual level, i would like. it's not about Eating Meat Being Natural. it's about - is it moral? is it right? is it something i am comfortable doing? and it is not. though it's a lot harder when you are surrounded by people eating meat.
on a brighter note, i went to Bowral today. this is a town in the southern highlands of NSW full of bookstores. and some cute little cafes, and pretty things, and trees and hills and soft grass. and bookstores. i restrained myself, considerably, and walked away, buying only four books. that's quite amazing for me. one was an early 20th century collection of shelley's pamphlets which looks lovely - beautiful soft binding.... and other things i've been after for awhile...
excitingly, my copy of the wonderful Sexy Bodies - The Strange Carnalities of Feminism
edited by the wonderful Elizabeth Grosz and Elspeth Probyn - had included in the back a magazine clipping of a recipe for gingerbread cookies, and icing, and ideas for a family Easter. pretty brilliant.
it's re-ignited the desire for academia, looking at my collection of divine books on gender and culture and semiotics. i feel hungry for study, i feel hungry for writing and learning. this year, if it is the only thing i achieve, i am going to resolve the gutwrenching anxiety university study makes me feel, so i can go on, and write and write and study and say what i need to say. however i need to say it.
in other news, Librarything now has all these extra awesome features. this is not good. all i want to do tonight is go through, editing it and tiding records, scanning covers and doing those sorts of fun things with my saturday night. Because. I. Am. Awesome. i sadly am... wary of linking from there to here, just due to the fact that my librarything has proximity to others.
man. as i type, i inhale hints of my impending third scumptious handmade vegan dinner in a row, from the mitts of fresh-outta-prison-&-into-the-kitchen activist ryan. there are smashed sweet potatoes with a lot of garlic, & something with lentils. & of course, guacamale.
ReplyDeletethere is this very amazing goats cheese stuff here, lebne. you have to fry eat before eating. i finally tried it yesterday after we visited one of the uhhhhhmazin communities out in the jordan valley, tiny little rural villages, not even villages really because they all live in tents. not because they are bedouins, they are just not allowed to build permanent structures. the army came to demolish their tents a few weeks ago & we were trying to catch up on what we can do there. they sent us away with two kilos of the stuff, fresh outta the teats. you would go nuts for it!
wish that you were here, feastin on shit w/ meee