care to?

afternoon heat, post work, sitting on my bed with my shoes still on. i'm feeling slightly too full after eating too much at a work afternoon tea.

the last few days have been eaten. i find the internet eats my time all too much - i just sit here and all of a sudden it's been absorbed like pouring water into a bucket of milk. i can't see it anymore. i can't see my face. and i am hungry.


and i am edgy at the moment - starting to feel itchy under the fingers again, it's sliding under my flesh and under my breath and under my time, feeling this need to move, to do, to go, to find, to ... dig holes in things just so they leak. it's an uncomfortable feeling, ants in the brain? ants on my mind. little black crawling dots moving very fast, purposefully, but i don't know where or why. i just know, i need to move. but i don't know what to do. it's frustration; this odd static feeling that grows in this repulsive town and spreads out under me and i lie on it and galllommmphf it takes me up and down.

i guess if i read, it might slow things down. it might give me something resembling discipline. i'm waiting for my enrollment kit from csu; i'm finishing my masters in order to make myself employable in a Real City, like melbourne. somewhere that, when i wonder what to do on a thursday night, i run through the one cinema, the few generic houses i could be in, and flat screens where i watch other people do things. and i'm tired of that. i don't like the screens.

right now, i'm drawing bunnies. i don't care if my 'art practice' (and that's an inaccurate description, i feel, it's giving it too much credit) consists of drawing bunnies. it's something. i'm drawing, at least. kind of.