and yes. it happens again like this.

you cut her name into your heart
you burn his name into your arm
cast out the pig you kiss as love
heaven is closed for now you are alone

this too, this too shall pass away
this too, this too will pass away
listen, Steven is singing to you
the pain of life you wipe away

a reason, that fine gray ash shall
recall these days
inquire
the serpent
to become a rag of a dream
interred
you arrive
and you wave as if she could care
but she can't
nor can you
the relinquishing and a flickering
out of loss

this too, this too shall pass away
this too, this too shall fade away
listen, Steven is singing to us
the pain of life you wipe away

perhaps depraved is who you are
why not?
depraved at least you're not alone
overcome by the truth you face that you can't
get up or look up
at the moon
without throwing up and it
stay the same all the time
lie and wait
it stop again like a bee
it will die
when it stings you once
and its small bee's head will fall off

this too, this too shall pass away
this pain will pass away
listen, Steven is singing to you
the pain of life you wipe away


oh oh oh, it always sneaks up behind you like some dirty black dog, like some silent angry cloud, like some wet sheet on your head, like a dream, like a dream, like a dream...

there's sweat here, it's hot and enclosed and my shirt is sticking to me, and my hair is coiled into ringlets from the heat and i am letting go like i am fucking a stranger drunk, and i am yelling lyrics, and i am jumping my fist in the air, my lungs hurting, my tongue bitten, my thighs light, my arse pressed against bodies against bodies and crawling arms around and over me and under.

impossible feeling

i sat against the glass window pressed face against glass, listening to xiu xiu on the bus.  there were more cows than i could count blurring passed me, impossible exchange, impossible exchange.

i will stick to leather, and i will listen, and it feels like my heart is being forced out of my ears. only realising this sneaking up on me as i am there, sticking to leather, and fuck, where did this come from? where the FUCK did this come from? 

it's always dug into my heart that first point of contact when things start to fall into place, or away. and this one, elizabeth? this is unusually stupid, even for you.