purple

hair dye afternoon itchy fingers. my lizards are eating. they are happy with this, tasty crumbs on their little faces, running their faces inside a plastic dish for more. emma gave the rats a fig. she is visiting from sydney and i adore her, bright orange hair like a brilliant gorgeous pumpkin.

i miss my b. she's far away, faraway secret pathways, off, off saving the world, and she saved mine, you know, when i found her on facebook. i miss her each day. me and the boy posted a photo of the Palestine tent at the multicultural festival today. the boy didn't buy lemonade from the israaeli tent. it's our way of protesting. ha.

i feel sensible today, clear headed and real again. i need hard carnality to function. it's like hunger, or exhaustion for me - when i don't have intense physical intimacy, a part of me erodes and i start to go cardboard box inside out, fill me, fill me, FILL ME, until each cell in my body is screaming hollering begging pleading fighting tearing to be fucked. and then i am, and the storm is over the air smells fresh and i breathe again.

i've got a swag of books on order. i want more. another Tao Lin, 'scorched atlas' 'The Late Work of Margaret Kroftis (Little House on the Bowery)' a stack of stuff for uni... now i am hungry for more more more to stretch my reading out like a hungry ghost....