blergh

feeling slightly less horrified by the world now. a lot of sleeping.

a lot.

back to an old home at work - the wonders of Manuscripts. it makes me happy, all these little pages, all these little fragments, you will never know what you find. and my productivity and planning is paying off. i am enrolled in uni. i have Ideas For Conferences. i have direction, and structure, and that's actually keeping me from falling into the big fat gaping hole i normally would about now. it's a little net. it's good, it's showing me another thing i can do to keep sane.

structure is actually what i need, very desperately. structure and discipline, rules that i arbitrarily set up and force myself to follow. it makes life simpler for me, and clearer. i can follow, i can walk, one foot, another, another, and follow the line on the footpath. i force myself into things, and i am fine. i swim. because i can swim. it is ok. one step. after. the other.