it always leaves me feeling dragged and buggered without enough preparation. i hate it. i hate it. i struggle painfully with the constant heavy anxiety. and now, i'm over the halfway mark of this semester - three pieces of assessment down, two to go. i just have to scrape through, and keep going. one word, one step, one movement after another...one barely connected thought after another.... stringing it together, one day at a time.
i am stubborn though, and determined to get there. i drank tea, and wrote dewey numbers, and fuck, i don't even know if i did any of them right, but let's hope i did well enough to scrape through.
i'm also very ... unreliable with uni. i don't care a lot about it. i care about finishing. i care about getting the qualification. but i have no work ethic. i have no passion for what i am doing. i find it boring, and frustrating, and time wasting, and i just want it over. so, day. after. day. one day at a time. i can get this thing done.
escape plan ... this too will pass away.
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