goals

sometimes articulating direction helps me. i realise there are things i do, and things i don't, that i should. I won't set these as definates. but goals, suggestions, hopes.

1. read more. novels. poetry. nonfiction. i feel more solid with a book in the background. even just a few pages. even just at lunch. read. read.

2. write more. be it blog, or quietly, or work related librarythings, or shitty poetry, or rambles, or letters to friends, whatever. words. words. make them. make it. solidify.

3. Yoga. take classes, try and find someone willing to do them with me.

4. meditation on sundays. i feel soulless right now.

5. more music.

6. more time with animals.

7. stop watching any television.

8. dramatically reduce internet time. it is for communication. not this bland zoning out i do on it.

9. see more movies in the cinema.

10. continue therapy. keep fighting. keep. fucking. fighting. do not give in.

11. work on friendships and relationships. be a better friend ; listen more ; be kinder ; more giving of time, of self ; fear not.

12. address health issues much more seriously. start investigating what i can do to stay awake a more reasonable number of hours.

13. food. eat better. Much better. MUCH MUCH better. take lunch to work. two coffee maximum.

14. gentle and kind. gentle and kind. gentle and kind.

15. seize myself as a sexual creature, and stop feeling ashamed of that. if i want to be sexy with a lover, stop being so scared. trust. and if that trust is betrayed, realise that the learning was worth the hurt - and the loss is thus the gain.

16. dream more. peace. softness.

17. podcasts to sleep with. open open. open.

18. save money. responsibility.


this is a time i need to build. build. this is the feeling. it's not a time to make, or create, or grow, but build on what is there, and make that stronger. foundations for growth. i'll have a much clearer list of this, i'll work on that. more details on what to read, more details on how to reduce internet time, to eat better, to save money.... little steps. kind to self. i can get there. i will.