words again

it is hard, to describe in words, something that is, in honestly, nothing more than words.

can i re-use words that have been used in this context to make sense of it?  or am i just an idealist? do i just have an overactive imagination?  am i drawing this out of nothingness again?  i like to live in words; it's a habit i fall into in darker times, over and over again.

but this is not dark. i have my Dom, and my house. i have my place, i have my job, and a world that's real.  it's not like this is filling nothing. 

and i know, i'm stopping the gaps. this is not ideal. this is JUST an ideal.  sate it, elizabeth. make it solid.  you have done this before.  and i don't want it to end the same.

oh oh oh.  i do not sense sense. i do not sense it well. i walk in the dark because i blind myself, and gleefully try and find my way through with hungry fingers. and now they are left with the keyboard, and they bring you out, into me. and i wonder. and i raise my eyebrows, and i feel, yes, like a fool.  like a small hungry fool.

but you know, i am an optimist, i think, in some ways. maybe this time, things are different. ha.